Sunday June 3, 2006

pun

A play on words, sometimes on different senses of the same word and sometimes on the similar sense or sound of different words.

i·ro·ny

*An expression or utterance marked by a deliberate contrast between apparent and intended meaning.

*A literary style employing such contrasts for humorous or rhetorical effect. See Synonyms at wit¹.

*Incongruity between what might be expected and what actually occurs:

Wow, it has been a long long time since I blog. My holidays with the distractions in the path of life was fully booked, what can I say. Exciting and adventurous things like getting groceries, preparing for dinners, going to yoga, cleaning the house and work got me ocuppied. Well, I tried work on each tasks without feeling overwhelmed by the task. Notice the word "tried too" meaning there is effort involved to try. It is not really a big deal if I delay on them, but some or most daily task urges completeness for them. The list goes on and on sometimes, I get lazy, the task gets boring exception to the yoga one.

Anyhow, looking around now, the place is not as tidy as I intended to be. Our ideals and expectations sure keep us busy in the world. I finally re -potted my plants yesterday since the time I got them. Let's just say I got them shorter than 4 weeks ago. A lavender and some kind of tropical plant from Safeway. I fill my kitchen with plants because their life forces reinforces my own. I believe so anyways and it relaxing to watch them grow and change and fill my kitchen with nature.

Life is always fill with things to do, but what we classified as importance and priority is really up to us. That would be neat to freeze time, get most of my daily grinds done then with a press of the remote control continue with life again. But in this case, Life has its own voice in a language of its own. Life is fill of surprises like Jack in the box. The not knowing allows the element of surprise,  and in a string of alluring twist and ironic events, it challenges our assumptions as it plays follow the leader with us without actually telling us to play.

Recently, I was pondering about purchasing a laptop because my old one is going bonkers. First, it was my battery but there is no need to get a battery if I can just use the plug in right? If I am using it at home, it is manageable but there is more. Next, the fan system complaints and makes spins sounds way before I got a chance to browse and start to do anything with my programs.

When a program was started, it had a momentum of a slithering snail, perhaps slower but I can't think of anything slower than a snail. A leech? Do they move? A static leech perhaps. And just opening and closing a file was time consuming. Computer problems are no fun. Just ask the Dell guy, every time, he asked me what was happening..my answer is still uploading. Dell was really good in their customer service, I must admit. My warranty had expired for 3 years but with a phone call, the person was willing to stay on the phone with me for a hour to help with the problems. I was impressed.

I was lucky that day. I finally got my BIOS upgraded but when a black screen with errors surprised me a few more times, it got me thinking. Not a good sign. Anyways, perhaps something is telling me to do something but before my decision to do something and purchase another one, an another event happened showing me the urgency to do so.

Out of the blue, Ryan decided to closed my laptop this day and in a downward momentum to close the laptop, the hinges broke. Okay, the decision is so easy now. I had to replace my laptop. It was comical too because on the same day, I stepped on his glasses forcing him to buy a new one too. We found it funny because it was just yesterday that he had said he was not to going to glasses until it was broken. And here we are at the place where we are suppose to be, a time in place where our events are telling us to get glasses and a laptop. Neat hey.

 

Lost: To wander from or become ignorant of: lose one's way. It is a frightful feeling, the sense of disconnection and confusion to the present surroundings and not be able to control what is happening around you. There is a sense of helplessness and the need to find security, familiarity and comfort very very fast. Fear creeps in and we will do anything to protect ourselves. I remembered the first and last time I was lost. It was in elementary school times in the 80's and I got lost at my friend's place near 87 ave and 163rd st. I can't even recall if I went with someone but the area was new to me and the unknown surroundings blurred my sense of direction and I lost my way. What do kids do? I cried and cried but I also saw a "block parent" sign and went to that house for assistance. I wish I could be some assistance to Flo. She had her teeth cleaned yesterday and the night of the day before and yesterday, she did not eat or drink. Yesterday morning, I manage to get her to drink a bit of water from my hand in the morning before I left for work and before her operation. That was the last time I saw my flurry friend. I do not want to confuse you, she is not dead or anything. She is just lost, her old self needs time to recover, that is what I am hoping because I miss her so much. The fear in her eyes was one I do not want any being to have, at the vet was frantic, wild, and instinctive fear and suffering..when I called to calm her, it was like the wind, her eyes looked beyond in a world I could not enter. I didn't think she saw me at all, those glossy round eyes beamed out at me. There was no connection, just fear. She hissed as though she needed to fend off a bear and her life depended on it. We tried putting her bag inside and seeing if she would enter it herself but she remained in the fearful state..hissing and growling as if there is no tomorrow. The doctor finally came in with protective gloves and a blanket. The sound of her howls was the loudest I ever heard her. He wrapped her up and placed her into our carrying bag and I walked her home. It is sad to see her in a new personality..she is calm now, it took awhile but I am worry about her because she hasn't drink much since she got home and I tried feeding a bit to her but all she did was sniff it..her walk is slow, tipsy and careful..her quietness and reserved nature but unlike her old self of confidence and voice, she seems empty of life. She is alive yet she is not in some sense. The experience must have been painfully stressful for her. They had put her to sleep to get the teeth clean. The fasting was crazy. I do not know if any humans can, would allow or endure a fast of food about 15 hrs before surgery. When I think back, I wonder if it was such a good idea in the first place. If clean teeth is more important than losing a friend or unintentionally causing any beings such suffering and pain. I miss her gentle voice of greeting. I miss her galloping run and playful fun and meetings. I miss her appetite for food when she ask for it. I miss turning the tap on and her leading the way to the bathroom sink for water. I miss her variety of meowing to communicate, one for outside, one for food, one for greeting, one for disappointment and sadness. I miss her cuddles at night and deep breathing. I miss her confidence and self purr healing. May we both be able to be one with the changes and be able to become new friends like old ones.

I finally got back into it and got myself going to the temple again. Today was a "Liberation ceremony". The Avatamsaka temple brought 3 big cages of pigeons, and they are planning to set them free!!! What a great deed..me so happy. I thought I would be actually be helping with moving the crates and freeing the birds but that didn't happen. The assembly and I chanted a liberation sutra or mantra and afterwards, volunteer male helpers escorted the birds to the van for the trip to freedom.

Does it make a difference to do such actions when others are constantly capturing back the birds to be sell again? Well, The master talkes about this story. I have heard of this story before but perhaps you have not. It is along a beach in a city of a country, a girl would pick starfish off the shores of the ocean. In automatic motion, when she saw one on the ground, her hands would pick it up and toss it out back into the ocean. She did this the whole day until a curious by-passer stopped her and ask:

"What are you doing?"

"I am throwing starfish into the ocean".

"Does that make any difference, they are going to come back to shore, dry and die anyhow."

She saw another starfish nearby, gallop towards it, picked it up with her tiny hands in full momentum and said,  "It does to that one."

The master said it was after reading this English story that she understood the meaning behind the actions. Even though it is impossible to save all the starfishes, all the pigeons or  the animals or all beings..the most important is making such great thought or wishes so we can plant in ourselves for the future. When we have such deep seeds of wishes then later when the time is ripe, we will be able to fulfill them. 

I agree with her, even if you doubt an action, it doesn't hurt to do good. The 1 to 2 seconds of our time doesn't make much difference to us but for the starfishes, it means another chance to live and not be sizzle and dry out by the hot hot sun. If you would not wish to die that way, neither does all those starfishes and pigeons. The difference is that we have feet to walk or run away from the situation and a mouth that allows us to communicate to the understanding of the majority. If starfishes have feet that allow them to travel back to the ocean, what do you think they would do?

One way to cultivate is to analyze our dislike or doubt of something. For examples, worms, ants, mice, snakes, insects etc. Why do we fear it? By questioning, we find out more about ourselves, perhaps we see a different picture and problem. If we consider the importance of them in the equation of life, we will eventually realized that it is because of them that we are here. Everything has a purpose. There is a choice for each individual to investigate or choose not to know the working of the kosmos but even if we do not value their purpose or agree with it, we must value the importance of life because we are life itself.